Reply to When the wife tells you (female friend) to stay away from her husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have no idea why people are criticizing OP. I assume it's because they don't have any male friends. But I do and I don't want to sleep with them.

The wife is abusive and crazy. "Trying to hold her family together"??? What on earth does that mean? If someone is going to cheat, you cannot stop them by micromanagement.

I would back off OP....for your own safety and sanity. Just let your friend know you will always be there for him and fade out for now.[/quote]

I agree with this.  I think that there are a lot of jealous, insecure women on this board.

I have several male friends I've had since college and since I started out in my career.  I happen to be an engineer so I am surrounded by mean, and I have made friends with some of them.

One of my male friends/colleagues was one such good friend.  I say was, because since he got married his jealous and controlling wife had told him to stop being friends with me. I didn't realize it, but he was pretty much sneaking around to have lunch with me.  Our relationship was never inappropriate, we have never done anything physical, and over the many years we've been friends, I've usually had a boyfriend.

OP sounds like she's going through something similar.  OP - there's nothing you can do in this situation.  Obviously don't seem him out now.  But eventually he will man up, dump that crazy bitch, and reach out to you - be his friend when that time comes.[/quote]

No, wife trumps female friends from the past. Always. Unless you have managed to become close personal friends with the wife, just begone with you.[/quote]

Healthy, stable relationships do not require EITHER partner to choose between their spouse and their friends.

I do not understand the people suggesting that the OP is doing anything untoward in this situation. It sounds like she tried to be a friend of the marriage, has steered clear of dangerous subjects to the best of her ability and has also complied with the crazy demands of this woman. I would never in a million years make my husband talk to the crazy wife/girlfriend of one of my male friends. If we were in that situation, I would say, "Paul, I will always consider you a friend, but I cannot be part of this situation and will not disrespect my husband by bringing him into her drama. If your situation changes, you know how to find us."

I do think that it's highly likely that the friend in this situation is the one with inappropriate boundaries. Not to mention that he is actively lying to his wife. He will get caught, and it really will not matter if he is lying about going to poker night with a male friend she doesn't approve of or banging a hooker on the hood of a car. She will be furious either way.[/quote]

+1 million. I think it is lunacy that posters are defending a wife who to all appearance is controlling and jealous. Some of you all sound equally unhinged with respect to male-female friendships. The photo of DH and the text are direct evidence of that. I'd suggest to your friend when he calls again to read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. [/quote]

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