Reply to DS struggling in the first few weeks of college, and it's killing me

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "DS struggling in the first few weeks of college, and it's killing me"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like the brief text was his way of reaching out. Panic attacks are very scary and very serious.

Do you know if he told his dad? Is dad supportive at all?

Maybe a trip up there for a quick meal, I know it's a long drive but just a dinner might be just the thing. You can outline for him some things he can do (counseling center, RA, whatever you can come up with) and come up with a plan together on how to move forward.
You could give him notice now and then some time to think about what he wants to do. You want him to take some ownership and responsibility in helping himself, while helping as his mom. It's a fine line!
I feel for you OP![/quote]

Don't do this,,the very definition of helicoptering.[/quote]

I agree.  2 weeks is not enough time to swoop in and fix his problems.  At 2 weeks, you can be the lifeline on the phone to help him talk it out and brainstorm ideas, but it's way too early.  He has to learn to adjust and start to solve problems on his own.  I would think the earliest that you want to go and "save him" is around mid-terms?  Maybe Halloween?  But 2 weeks?  Definitely way too soon to be saving the day.  He hasn't really been given a chance to try and fix things on his own, and you're already there to prevent him from learning and building that life experience that college is meant to help impart.[/quote]

Did you even read the post you are responding to?[/quote]

Yes, I did.  Did you?  I agreed with the short line above mine that this was too much helicoptering.  I thought the previous comment about the parents actually going to see the young adult after only 2 weeks was really too much.  Although he was having some trouble, going up there to coddle him and swoop in to save the day before he really had a chance to learn how to cope on his own was much too early.  I suggested that the OP would want to wait at least another 6-7 weeks otherwise the son would never fledge and would call Mama every time he needed a little handholding.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics