Reply to My ex is back 22 years later, claiming I was "the one"

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Reply to "My ex is back 22 years later, claiming I was "the one" - I'm not, at all."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thank you for all of your responses. I really needed some help wording my response because he did really flip out the last time I "rejected" him. In the last threeish weeks that this has been going on I have responded 5 times. At first he contacted me fairly innocently. So I responded in kind. It went downhill quickly. I would wake up to dozens of messages from him. Recently my well meaning (idiot) cousin gave him my number. So now I have a lot of voicemails from him.

As I said, I wanted to be kind. It is obvious he is going through a "thing" right now. At first I told him I was happily married and not interested in changing that, I also told him I was happy to hear from him and hoped he was doing well (I know, my bad, didn't think it would escalate like this). Now I absolutely want this to stop but I don't want his "thing" to turn into crazy, you know?

As for my husband he has read and heard everything and he laughs it off, says "Its because you are too hot" (he is just being sweet) and teases me about my "boyfriend". I have not let him know that I am seriously beginning to get creeped out because honestly I don't want to worry/bug my DH about something so lame.

Because honestly ... its 22 years later, I am a grown woman with kids and a button down suburban life. My ex while not a "famous" ball player had a really solid career, I checked out his social media looks like he has plenty of friends and good times. He lives on the opposite coast, he still has his looks, he should seriously not be pining for me. I feel stupid even posting about this, but as I said, I really was at a loss for what to say to him to end this situation. I have no intention of outing him or embarrassing him, I just want to stop. It is sad and pathetic bordering on creepy, he needs to get a grip.

I am going to use a form of what 15:03 advised "Ex, I have told you that I am not interested in a relationship with you. Your messages are disrespectful - to me, to my marriage, to my husband, to my children. Do not contact me again. Sarah" and then ignore anything further. If he keeps it up I will block what I can. I will also keep a record of what he has said, just in case.

Thanks again. I appreciate all the help.[/quote]

Are you positive this person who is contacting you is really your ex?  Any chance that this might be an imposter who remembers you two from back in the day and is trying to stir things up for some reason?  Maybe he is hoping to get you to say something regrettable in return?  For some reason this whole thing just doesn't sound right.

I've seen obsessive behavior before and I think that if this guy was this obsessed with you he would be on your doorstep or "bumping into" you someplace.  They usually don't worship afar like that...Does he talk like his old self?[/quote]

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