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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I come from a family of MDs and PhDs so education is not an issue.

If I do what my family did, I'd be making 20 courses whenever the inlaws come over, beg them to stay longer (even though I don't mean it) when they say that have to go back home tomorrow and never talk back since they are older and I should always respect their judgement. And not leave the house to take the kids to the park, library etc when their grandparents drove 3 hours to be with them.[/quote]

I get that, that's why I'm saying handle it like a DIL of Lebanese IL that you don't want to come over not as a typical subservient DIL.

If your ILs were Lebanese and you could not handle the visits (even though your husband does just as a Lebanese husband would), what would you do?  How would you solve your problem?

Your native culture's family structures are the so similar, I'm not understanding why this is difficult for you and why you're blaming it all on the fact that they are Indian and you are not.

You would be facing the same thing if they were Lebanese, except expecting even more (20 course meals!)

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