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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you cannot change/control your parents. But you can decide how they influence your lives. Stop trying to please or convince them. Accept that they are not going to be reasonable, fair, loving, kind, etc. This is part of growing up. Look at situations objectively and make good decisions for your family, knowing there will be some negative consequences. The positive consequences will be worth it.[/quote] +10000 If your mother is making you choose, and she is, you need to choose your adult family over your birth family. Your mother could have gotten away with being abusive to you in the past, but those days are over. Especially once you marry a strong woman. Clearly you chose your wife, because she is nothing like your mother. Be proud of your choice, be proud of your birth family *you* have built, and spend your years enjoying them. Instead of trying to please an old hag that you are never going to please. [/quote]
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