Reply to My parents hate my wife

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "My parents hate my wife"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]

OP - Your post could almost be word for word my SIL's, except that his folks live out of town and will come to his and my daughter's home and yell and dress down their son.  If you are as your post seems to indicate, you are "conflict averse" and perhaps because this has been the pattern of the relationship with your parents even before you grew up.  My SIL is a bright, bit quirky wonderful person who loves his wife and his twin girls.  [b]However, there is a part of  him which has never grown apart from his parents so that he has never learned to stand on his own two feet and be independent.  Additionally, he willingly accepted a financial contribution to the purchase of their home and in a way is tied to them due to that, too.  While he will not stand up to his own parents about appropriate behavior (no yelling or verbal putdowns when visiting in their house), my DD has taken a firm line with them as she knows just how much it demeans and upsets her husband.[/b]

If your parents mirror our daughter's IN -LAWS, both are rather unhappy with each other, and have degrees of mental illness.  While the Dad will see a psychiatrist for meds, he has never done therapy and the mother will have nothing to do with it.  Their behavior has been the same to DD as to your DW.  Fortunately, our daughter has a very competent psychiatrist and psychologist who have told her just how disturbed the IN-LAWS are and to set the boundaries that she needs to deal with them.  Why --because believe it or not SIL and DD recognize their twins love their grandparents and the INLAWS likewise and would like to keep the bond there.  But I can tell you  OP that by six kids know exactly what is happening and it won't be too long before they wonder why Dad is getting verbally yelled at by Gradnpa. ]We have stayed out of it except to say SIL and DD need to set boundaries in their own home for the well-being of their kids AND for their own emotional mental health.  As my DD says to me, every time they come, there is an emotional toll on DH, and I hear it in her,too.

OP you need to run to a therapist and get the emotional help that you need to learn how to lay things out calmly to your parents as to how things will be from here on out.  This means cutting the apron street and perhaps the financial strings.  Then, too, you and DW need to have some couples counseling to jointly understand how things will be moving forward.  DW is the main person in your family now, but you will lose her and your kids if you do not get moving on this.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics