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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This person summed up my feelings as well. I would just add that I often am frustrated because it seems that the person is not making what I consider a truly informed choice. I absolutely accept that there are individual cases where the unique circumstances of the child mean a particular private is the best choice, but in my experience, having had these conversations with a number of people over the years, the decision is not based on real knowledge/experience with the school. People are relying on stuff they heard from someone 5 years ago, when none of the staff, students, or situations that existed are still in place. They look at average test scores, which tell you nothing about what you kid, who might be at or above grade level, will experience. It's not perfect--nothing is--but it's truly not bad now, and I think it can be even better if you come along for the ride with us. [b]I get frustrated because when I give specific examples of the positive experiences we have had, and people just nod and say "yeah, well--we are doing private" it's hard not to feel as though you think I'm lying to you.[/b] No one likes to be called a liar.

None of this need necessarily apply to OP--I don't know their situation. It's just my general feeling from doing this for a while.[/quote]

I am really curious about this. How should parents make a truly informed choice? There is certain data out there that I can see, like how many students per class, and what electives they get to take, and what sports and activities the school has. You can look at the summer assignments they are being given as an example of the level of classes. You can talk to parents of current students. You can attend events. What else can you do? Here is what I've heard about our local public from neighbors: "it's not that bad," "it's the real world and kids better get used to it," "I don't like the administration," "it's only 3 years," and "there haven't been too many fights."[/quote]

I think it really comes down to faith and trust that you can adapt  because no one ever knows how anything will turn out in life. You can research a job on various websites and talk to people that worked there but that doesn't tell you how your experience will be because it will be a blend of your personality and the fit with your boss and peers AND the end client (internal or external) that you do the work for ...and even if that is all great things can change.  You can get a new boss, you can get a toxic co-worker or be put on a horrible project.  Your boss could be going thru personal things and check out or same can happen to you.   Same thing with schools being a combination or your child, plus peers, plus fit with the teacher, plus school leadership.  All of these things don't have to be perfect ...it is the overall cumulative effect of x numbers of years there.  At a minimum there has to be good teachers there and they have to be teaching grade level work.  Monitor the situation and if it goes south, be prepared to advocate hard or find a different school.  You look for potential not that there is a guarantee.

To the PP that pointed out that some people don't believe the good stories, I think it is more about the other person than you.  I know for me when I hear the good stories, I think why not me and why not my child when he was there.  Did I not advocate enough, was I not savvy enough, was I not patient enough or did I just have cosmic bad luck that we didn't get the teacher that would have gotten my kid.  My closest friends had younger kids that had the same teacher and their kids did great and the teacher was great with their family.  My friends try to make me feel better by saying, I'm sure it's because we are Red Sox fans and we bonded with the teacher over that. So then I think I should have been in the classroom more and kissed butt more?  So for my own sanity, I have to believe that it was a good thing I wasn't a Red Sox fan and we were put on this path for a reason.  I may not know why now, but one day it will be clear why it wasn't meant to be for us to have those great stories about our local school and end up seeking something else.

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