Reply to "God has a plan"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is what people have to tell themselves to weather bad things, to believe there is some point to their suffering.  Personally, I don't buy it either.  When people say this to you, you are supposed to accept your infertility as part of some larger, greater scheme and be ok with it.  It is supposed to make you feel better, that this isn't random bad luck.  [b]Personally, I'd rather believe in random bad luck than that the one being who is supposed to love me and everyone else more than anything allowed/caused some of my bad stuff to happen, but that's just me.[/b]  I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now.[/quote]

Thanks, PP.  And the bolded is EXACTLY how I feel.  If God is love, I'm sure as shit not feeling loved right now.  My other favorite is "God doesn't give us more than we can handle."  I'm begging to differ at the moment.  [/quote]

Exactly that, and that's the reason I backed away from religion.  I haven't read through the whole thread.  OP, I wish you all the best.[/quote]

Thanks.  I'm not seeing anything here that speaks to me, to be honest.  I think the reality is is that I truly am an agnostic who really wanted to believe.  I just don't believe in the God of Christian faith right now.  So saying "turn to your faith" or "God has a plan" just rings very hollow to me these days.[/quote]

I assume this is OP?

I understand that you feel this way and think that most people go through phases like this in their faith journey. You are searching for something much deeper than gratuitous platitudes about God will provide.

But I go back to something that I posted earlier, in response to other glimpses you have given us into your life. You are still trying to "save yourself." You think that there is something that you, as a Type A person, can and should be able to do to figure this out, make it seem reasonable, and embrace on your terms. That is simply not the way that Christianity works. Jesus asked us to give everything up to follow Him, and that includes our dreams and plans for our own lives. That is when we will receive the blessing and gift of faith. [b]It sounds like you're not there yet, which is fine, but I think you need to recognize that[/b].[/quote]

No, I am not.  I am pissed beyond belief.  And I still fail to see what the hell eternal salvation has to do with my dreams and plans for my life here on earth.  Everything on this earth seems kinda pointless to me at the moment.  I firmly do not believe that God made me infertile b/c there is some bastard child out there somewhere waiting to be born who just couldn't make it on this earth without me as a mother.  It's a pretty twisted view, as I think about it, because it means some poor soul has to end up pregnant with a child they don't want.  It's pretty sick to wish that on someone, and I don't.  If an adoption happens for us, great.  But I'm not going to wish an unplanned pregnancy on someone just so I can be a mother again.  And I can't see how a benevolent and caring God would want that either.  I CAN see how an indifferent one (I.E. pure intelligence) couldn't care less and has nothing to do with it either way.

I think I just need to go be a Unitarian Universalist since they don't traffic in platitudes or absolutes or claim to know what is true.  I can respect that.[/quote]

God did not "make you" infertile. You are infertile because of the biological truths that you detailed earlier... scarring on uterine lining, I think you said? God did not plant that there. It happened because your body failed. You've also gotten sick from time to time, I assume, and your body is wrinkling. Your body is designed to fail, to fall a part. It is not perfect nor everlasting.

That God can take your strong desire to parent again and turn it into the blessing of an adoption is a reality. It should be a blessing for all involved -- you, your DH, your current child, the new child, the biological parents. It's not wishing an unplanned pregnancy on someone. [/quote]

As per usual among true believers, God is responsible for the good stuff and not the bad stuff.  It's a real talent to be able to think this way.  It doesn't come naturally to many people. [/quote]

OP here.  That is exactly my struggle.  If I am being asked to believe that God has some "plan" for me, then [b]I have to accept that I am infertile because there is some predestined plan for me to become the mother of a child borne of another woman. [/b] I can't make that leap, folks.  I really don't think he has anything to do with any of it.  I truly believe he is indifferent.[/quote]
I'm up above agreeing with you that there is no plan.  [b]But, even if you believe in a plan, it doesn't have to be the one you laid out[/b].  Perhaps the infertility is about planning to give you free time to discvoer the cure for cancer in the future, or perhaps you would have birthed the next hitler so the plan frees all of us from that, or perhaps the you gave birth to would have had a terrible illness keeping him sick for 3 years then killing him and the infertility spares you from that.  Not that I believe in the plan but not sure why your vision of it is so narrow.  Obviously every infertile person is not able to adopt, so that can't be the plan for all infertile couples.[/quote]

This is exactly OP's problem. She can't yet see past her own hopes and dreams. Sometimes we truly have to lose it all before we see God.[/quote]

Or it could just be that the "plan" of adoption is a choice I have made because I have the intelligence and free will to do so and not the result of anything to do with God other than the gift of free will.  [/quote]

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