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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. That's what I mean exactly. I don't need my SO to be a multimillionaire CEO. I just feel like given our plans of wanting to live in this area and raise kids here he needs to be bringing in more than just 60k a year. It wouldn't matter if I could see that he'd make much more money in a few years but I don't think his field (risk management and compliance) will necessarily do that. This area is very expensive and I've seen people adjust career goals to better position themselves to live here. Change careers; get another degree; switch to a more lucrative friend etc. every time I've suggested something he is very resistant and then talks about so. and so. Is too expensive to do.
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OP, you CANNOT will someone to be ambitious.  That person has to want it for him/herself.  No matter how you phrase the question, people are going to tell you the same thing.  If my husband told me I needed to get a job in consulting, become an independent contractor, travel for work, or move into management etc so we could live the lifestyle he envisions I would tell him where to go.  Ultimately, I have to want it because I'm the one that has to actually do the job day in and day out and do it well with a positive attitude so I stay employed.  I don't know how much more clearly people can say it, it's akin to telling your child that is an artist that she has to study mechanical engineering in college or you won't help pay for it. Usually those stories don't end with the child finishing college, being employed in that field and being happy.

In the DC area I know quite a few women that make more than their husband so I don't think that is uncommon.  I can think of atleast 4 women that I work with that the husband works a job that is shift work while the wife is a white collar professional likely making six figures.  And yes it is possible to live off the 60K your boyfriend makes plus what you are making and have kids but you have to make compromises.  There was a single mom on DCUM that made somewhere between 60-80K that I think owned her own home (maybe it was in Prince George County where housing is less expensive).  If you are serious about this start posting in the sections on where to live with a budget of X.  With schools, you can look into charters/magnets, affordable private schools, you working at a school that gives tuition discounts ...etc.    You could rent instead of buying or buy further out.  No you aren't going to be able to buy a big house, close-in, and be a SAHM with this boyfriend and it doesn't matter if every single one of his friends, his siblings, his next door neighbor growing up, his fraternity brothers, his best friend's brother-in-law's cousin all managed to have these kicking careers that allow for that lifestyle ... that isn't your path with your boyfriend and all the wishing in the world ain't changing it.  It's like when I hear Snookie from Jersey Shore earned 30K for a public speaking appearance or the owner of grumpy cat made millions off her cat, I think great for them and cynically wonder for a moment where did I go wrong ...and then I move on because really their life has nothing to do with my reality.

If your boyfriend is delaying proposing because he is trying to get his finances straight but is making no moves towards getting them straight, that is where I would have the problem. If someone is saying that they want to have xyz done before getting married but are making no moves to get that done, that means to me that aren't really motivated to get married ...or atleast not to me.
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