Reply to My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can choose the life you have or choose another one and live that.  But to live in limbo is, essentially, to choose to be angry and resentful and look to anyone else to blame but yourself.  It's a cowardly way to not-act.

So please just be honest and get counseling.  The choice might be to divorce and have the father (or other spouse) not have full custody or even give up full parental rights.  It might take a great toll on your child to have been unchosen in this way, and the retaining spouse will probably just have to lay it out straight: "There is nothing wrong with you, my darling, you were born perfect.  Something is "wrong" with your papa/mama, because although there are two people who were ready to love him/her for all his/her perfections and faults, he/she could not accept that love.  So never wonder if it was you, if you are "unlovable" because you are perfect and lovable. The problem was with your father/mother. I cannot explain the unexplainable."[/quote]

Give me a break, the likelihood of OP's husband wanting to terminate his parental rights is almost nil. I doubt he actually resents his child, his anger is more focused on OP. If he does in fact resent his child, the societal pressure to remain father, at least on paper, is strong and you can not just "sign your rights away" as easily as you state.[/quote]

You might be right. But I know of several ppl growing up who's one parent--usually the dad--while married or divorced from the other parent, basically is a non-parent. Pretty much checked out. It's painful to see. My husband has a dad like this. I imagine his father never cared about being a father. Even our little kids wonder what's wrong, and we basically tell them a version of what I wrote above. "It's not you, its him." [/quote]

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