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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So here's a positive opportunity that could come from this: one of the days you could offer to take your brothers kids with your side of the family on an outing to give SIL a chance to have some alone grown up time with her parents.  Then you would get a day with just your side of the family and SIL could have an opportunity to get quality time with her parents.

I know my folks come to visit a lot and while they *adore* my kids they also really like when I can arrange a sitter and they can have time with just me without my attention being split with my kids.  So this could be a chance for a win-win.[/quote]

To this PP (13:19): I am not the OP, but thanks for contributing a [b]positive[/b] post here! Your idea gives OP a chance to give her mom/grandmother more time with the grandkids and do a good thing for SIL to boot.

And OP, the fact that you are staying in the same place as your mom and grandmother, but SIL's parents are elsewhere, should help. (Ideally SIL, BIL and kid(s) would stay with SIL's parents and you'd all just rendezvous for specific times. But even if not, it does mean SIL's parents will at least go "home" to their own space for quite a while each night.)

Tell SIL and BIL up front and very nicely, "There'll be a couple of evenings when we and my mom and grandmother bow out in the late afternoon, since my grandmother tires easily, and we'll take our kids home and do our own thing for dinner and the evening. If you want to do something with just you, BIL and kids, with your parents, go for it!" Then DO it. "Tomorrow after the amusement park (or whatever activity) we're going to head back home on our own." If you do it in a friendly way it should be fine and might actually come as a relief to SIL and BIL to have a break from the whole group.

OP, we spend more than two weeks each year visiting my husband's family (long visits since they're overseas). We stay in our own apartment. My SIL comes to visit while we're there, with our niece, and they stay elsewhere too. My mother-in-law goes home to her own house at night and none of stays with her--she's elderly and doesn't need us disrupting her routines at home in the evenings and early mornings. It really keeps everyone sane, and reduces the "too much togetherness" syndrome, for everyone to say, "We'll do our own thing tomorrow morning and meet you for lunch and then do X together in the afternoon" and so on. Some dinners are together, some are on our own.

If you set expectations nicely at the start, and your SIL and family are open to the idea, you should be able to make "do our own thing" happen at times, even if you're mostly under the same roof.[/quote]

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