Reply to Considering leaving a good job ($120K) in mid-thirties to be a SAHM

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[quote=Anonymous]Why do you want to stay home if you "need to do something to stay sane" and "plan to return in ten years"? I ask this in all seriousness not to be an ass. Also, while you may not want a "nicer" house, you will probably want a different house. I've learned a lot by staying home. First, a neighborhood pool really does matter. Kids can see their friends, and swimming is a great activity. Parents can meet other adults. Community pools won't fit the bill, the cast of charactors is ever changing, and getting in is near impossible because community pools make their money from swim team and day camps. There is a reason why you see posts on this site asking to "join a swim club" every summer. Second, church or whatever religion you care about will matter to you because you'll have more time to get involved. If your temple has a "ladies book club" you'll have the energy and time to go check it out. Third, nothing magical happens in "ten years". Your kids will still need you around. School gets canceled, starts late or gets out early. You'll want to know your kids friends and socialize the rules that are acceptable in your home and for your kids. You'll need to be there to listen to your kids and convey your views often through several conversations about all matter of topics. Public school may matter more to you because your kid won't be kicked out if husband looses his job or your child has special needs that the private school you chose doesn't want to deal with. You'll want to live near a good pyramid. You'll want to get involved in PTA events. You'll want a good public library with good children's programs. Make sure that you have the strength and confidence to support your husband's career while realizing that support doesn't mean telling hubby what he wants to hear. Make sure you want to spend your days with your children and largely in the company of other women. Your husband won't be home to help so it won't be like Saturday morning plus 6. Realize that you will always have interests but that you may not be able to explore them as much as you think because you will be busy with your kids. If you think "Hubby will be home on the weekends so I can get a break" and that break means you leave him with the kids so you can go do whatever matters to you, you will not be happy being home. Make sure your kids have an area to play with minimual adult supervision. Your kid is too young for this now, but that will change. Kids need to learn how to work things out without an adult "helping" and that usually happens in backyards. The type of play and conversations that take place in a park v. a backyard are very different. You need to have the mental attitude of viewing other moms as coworkers. Some you will like a whole lot. Some you won't like at all. Some you will like at certain times and not like at other times. You need to be able to get along with all the varieties and not say "I don't have to put up with this, I'm home, I can do whatever I want now". You also need to know that you matter too. If you want to take your kids to a program at the library that you care about and they may not, take them. You are their mother, not their servant and it's good that you and they realize it. I'm not clear as to why you want to stay home, so I hope my post gives you some food for thought. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. [/quote]

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