Reply to Can we talk about married sex - nonexpicitly? What is the actual norm?

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[quote=Anonymous]We are mid 30s, together 9 years, married 4, 2 children, both work pretty demanding FT jobs. When we were in grad school (where we met), we were definitely in the every day camp, but that dropped off to 2-3 times/week once we both started working full time. Then we had kids and monthly became the high water mark. We might have been more like quarterly for 2012, sigh. We periodically discuss it and set goals or schedules (currently trying for every Monday, because why not pick a random day), but often let it drop. I'm really going to try to maintain once a week this time though, because I do believe the more you have it the more you want it, and then hopefully move to twice a week. I think we'd be good at that point. Our drives are probably medium to low and vary based on a whole bunch of things, including stress levels, work demands, how well we're splitting up household duties and supporting each other, sick kids, sick parents, etc.

To the PP asking about connection, I'm mostly in the camp of love my husband, don't want to be married to anyone else, but don't feel passionate anymore and am hoping that will return when our kids are older. To be honest, we've never been that adventurous sexually and things are pretty vanilla, and occasionally DH trends towards the slightly overweight side, both of which tend to dampen my desire.

And I talk about this with my girlfriends. Not all the time, but I'm generally familiar at a very high level with how it goes in the bedroom for my closest friends. DH is aware that I talk about things at a high level.[/quote]

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