Reply to Can we talk about married sex - nonexpicitly? What is the actual norm?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think "normal" is an irrelevant measure.  All that matters is what works for [b]you.[/b]

OP - your situation would be waaaaay too much for me.  But my situation is waaaay too little (husband with zero sex drive since we had little kids).  So I'd have a hard time having this conversation with you.  [/quote]

"Normal" is a very relevant measure when what works for her doesn't work for her husband or vice versa. (Though, I agree, "normal" isn't relevant if whatever they're doing works for both of them.) [/quote]

Here's the problem with arguing for "normal" amounts of sex.  I get told that other people lie, that the people who have more sex than we do have kids who drive, lower pressured careers, are younger, etc.  He uses the once or twice a week frequency, which I cite as generally the norm, as his ceiling. Bottom line is he doesn't want it not only with the same frequency but with the enthusiasm and creativity I would enjoy. We're going to split up over this because I do not want to live indefinitely with what is to me an unsatisfactory sex life, even though I'm sure 4 times a month is within the "normal" amount, and some women would love to put out only that infrequently.[/quote]

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