Reply to Feeling sad I'll never have a daughter

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Reply to "Feeling sad I'll never have a daughter"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have weird coping mechanisms but I always told myself if I don't get the daughter I want, it's because the daughter I would get would NOT be the daughter I would want.  In other words, she would hate me, we would not get along, we would not have a good adult relationship, etc.  "Everything happens for a reason" kind of bullshit.  And another reminder to me that not everyone does have that mother-daughter relationship with their daughter, some people have quite a strained relationship.  For example, my MIL told us not to name our baby after her (deceased) mother.  How horrible!

The point is, even if you get what you think you want, you can't control whether you actually get what you want.  Having a daughter is only a chance of having that bond, not a guarantee, and NOT having a daughter is the universe sending the message that I was never destined to - meaning that I am going to go through that disappointment now instead of when I have a terrible relationship with an actual daughter.  And I much prefer this world.

Not everyone is comforted by this kind of thing, but it works for me.  [/quote]

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