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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your kid wanted to do something that you thought would harm his or her chances in the world, unnecessarily and permanently, wouldn't you counsel them against it? It may be true that those who judge people based on names or tattoos are in the wrong, but the fact is that many of them are out there, in positions of power. I'd rather my kid do something meaningful to express his or her views, like create a piece of art, write an op-ed, or volunteer. [/quote]

In most cases, I would tell my child something like:
The thing you want to do is fine, and good, and if you're into it and it's not harmful to others it's a perfectly ok thing to want and to do. You shouldn't have to consider other people's opinions, because they really don't matter and besides people shouldn't be judgmental and mean. That said, we live in the real world not an ideal one, and you already know that people do judge and that society is very much based on arbitrary standards we (as in 'our family') consider unimportant, So, the potential consequences of your choice are that some people, who are wrong but are also in positions of authority/power/influence, will think ______ and do ______, and the following are possible impacts on your life _____. I just want you to make an informed choice on whether you're willing to deal with that in order to do whatever you're considering doing. It's a fine choice to make, but part of my job as a parent is making sure you have as much information as possible to make as informed a choice as possible.

Then I'd let them decide.[/quote]

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