Reply to Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????

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Reply to "Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Since you asked op, I'll tell you.  He should have waited a year.  He should have taken a year to grieve and mourn and adjust to the new reality of life without his wife.  He should have focused on his kids, and given them time to do the same.   They should have gone through Mother's Day, Father's Day, summer BBQ's, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family of three.  He should have been lonely, that's okay.    You can't get through grief by ignoring it and filling your time with a new relationship.   If you don't grieve, you don't heal, and you bring that pain to the next relationship.

I've walked that mile, op, as the teenaged girl who lost her mom.   Tread carefully here.   You're already dating him, fine, but wait to move in.  Frankly, I'd wait until he was ready to sell that house and start fresh in a new one with you.  And if he's not there yet and it doesn't make sense because of the kids, then don't move in until it does.[/quote]

Thank you for such a reasonable, tempered response.

He did wait a little over a year before we started dating. But even if he waited 6 months, that's his perogative.

It's just so funny to see all the posters come running out with their pitchforks screaming, "But it's too soon!" as if their anonymous opinions dipped in the ignorance of not knowing any of the parties would carry more weight than the dead wife's family.[/quote]

Oh my god.  Sure, it's his prerogative to be an insensitive father who makes poor parenting decisions.  But do you really want to move in to that situation?

Speaking of poor decisions,  you said it was a little over a year that their mother passed away, and now it's a little over a year that you've been dating.  So he's been dating you for like 5 minutes and already wants to get married?  WTF?  This is a bad, bad, bad idea.  He is not making good decisions.  [/quote]

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