Reply to Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother remarried less than 3 months after my father died. My stepfather ran through my father's estate, including life insurance that was intended for his kids' education, in about a year. He gave his own kids a lot of the money. Then he started beating my mother. They divorced and my mother married a decent man. But, my mother's relationship with her kids was forever changed.

When my husband suddenly died, I knew what NOT to do as a widow with kids.  I came to understand that my mother remarried quickly to escape grief and loneliness.
[/quote]

3 months??? Did she already know this guy or did she meet him at the funeral.

[b]And while it's hard not to, people, try not to project YOUR personal history on MY current present. The anecdotes are useful but let's be real: They really have nothing to do with me and my situation.[/quote][/b]

I'm not the PP who shared the anecdote of her mother's remarriage, but I disagree that the anecdotes have nothing to do with you or your situation.  People are telling you how they felt as children/teens when their parent moved on too quickly.  Nobody has posted that they were thrilled when their parent quickly remarried after death of spouse.

Also, why did you post, asking for help, if you were going to take time discounting and refuting the advice and input?[/quote]

1. A mother remarrying 3 months later to someone who ran through her father's inheritance (and that other anecdote) are so completely foreign to my reality that they're not even useful. Like, actually KNOWING my situation and the people in it, I cannot even relate. I can, however, say "Thank you for sharing".

2. I asked for help on the practical, financial, black and white stuff. People trying to give advice on the gray areas that they know NOTHING about makes it easy to discount what they say. And let's not act as if it's not allllll the way off the actual topic.

Some of it's useful; some of it's so out of left-field that I have no choice but to disregard it. I couldn't entertain it if I wanted to.

Can we really just stick to the topic here?[/quote]

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