Reply to DH wants to vacation with family. I don't.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you sound a lot like my DH, and I signed on here because I can see this issue beginning to brew in our family too and was about to post a "how do you deal with this" post myself.  Before DD was born I would just travel to see my family by myself most of the time, but now we have a 1 yo and it feels too overwhelming to travel alone with her (plus [b]we want to spend our limited vacation together as a family[/b]).  I miss my family so much though, and the idea of not really spending much time with them / not giving them time with their granddaughter is really upsetting.  My DH also says he can't just relax when we're traveling with my family, and I get that, I really do, but it's a little tough to fully empathize because his family is local and at our house all the time.  So I've had to learn how to relax and be myself with them.  At the same time, it's not cool if your DH is insisting on vacationing with family because he wants you and his mom to do everything for him so he can just lay around.

Here's what I'm thinking for a compromise.  We tried to do this last year but a last minute work trip derailed our plans.  [b]What if you went on vacation with the crew, but asked your MIL to keep the kids for a few of the nights so you and DH could get away yourselves[/b], then find a B&B or something nearby where you can both relax without feeling like a slacker.  Maybe you can even work it out with the other family members so that all of the parents who have young kids get a night or two away from the chaos.[/quote]

PP here.  MIL would never in a million years watch her small grandchildren.  Besides, not sure that I would want her to, to be honest. And vacationing as a nuclear family is important.  MIL definitely does not get this, she is dense.  Hopefully OP's MIL gets it.  [/quote] ugh. OP here. We tried this on our last trip. DH told MIL we wanted to go out to dinner one night. She threw a fit, saying that we didn't want to spend time with them and that we were ruining the trip. DH held firm but it was clear that everyone was shocked the night we went, that they couldn't believe we were actually doing it. DH had to drag me out, I felt so guilty. [/quote]
Here is an example of where your DH was doing what you wanted to do, but he still had to drag you out because you felt guilty. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but just to show that you might be making it a bit hard for him to know how to make you happy here.[/quote]OP here. Excellent point. [/quote]

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