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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]First you need to stop thinking your way is the only right way to live. [/b]Then you need to both set a plan you can live with- both, he gets input too. If that ends up with you putting aside a certain amount every month that he doesn't need to account for, that could work. I get your feelings about money but seriously, stop shaming this man. That doesn't lead anywhere good. [/quote]

OP here, my way is the right way for me to live.  DH admired my financial savvy when he met me and sees how his life has improved.  When I met him, he was struggling to pay off $40k in student loans while I had already cleared away $200k in student loans by age 26.  He sees how my family lives -- we came here with nothing, but we have much more than his family does -- and he wants that for himself.  He actually begs me not to give up on him and to keep trying to help him control his spending.  He just lacks discipline because he was not raised with it.[/quote]

Something I noticed with Asian families - indian and east asian - they base happiness purely on finances and money because most came from nothing to have something here in the US. I know a couple that although were younger than you and your hubby married before they finished college also from different cultures one that prioritized money and the other didn't as much but they married for love and are doing well together. So it seems you are seeing your hubbys spending as catastrophic to your goals but realize that he's from a different culture that will never align to your own. You have to accept his cultural differences, the way he grew up, etc because you love him right? Most americans - white, black, hispanic - aren't raised with the same cutthroat discipline asians were raised with. Culturally discipline is ingrained in most asians from a very young age and you can't change that about your hubby. You can however set a goal and try to stick to it. Start with a small goal then work your way up.[/quote]

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