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[quote=dcguy][quote=Anonymous]Before I met DH, I was very smart with money.  Through a combination of living in very cheap apartments, never eating out, doing my own hair/brows/nails, and rarely clothes/shoe shopping etc I managed to pay off almost $200k of student loan debt with no parental or other assistance in just over three years.  DH has brought such warmth and love to my life, but his circle is full of fools and he is a bit of a fool himself.  His parents are my biggest problem.  They have no retirement savings, no assets (got foreclosed on and now live in a rental), and make maybe $80k a year total.  Yet, they shop and eat out at expensive restaurants nonstop, go on trips regularly, and buy expensive gifts for everyone.  Their friends are all far wealthier than they are, so they waste endless amounts trying to keep up.  I would not mind this, except they expect us to do the same.  His friends are no different. One couple with HHI of maybe $40k a year had a $50k wedding all funded by credit card debt.

DH is stupid with money, but I can usually coral his urges through nagging and a few knock down drag out fights every now and then.  He has come a long way considering the people he was raised by.  His circle is a terrible influence, however.  Every time we go hang out with his family or his friends, it takes me weeks to get his spending back on track.  He gets it in his head that eating out regularly is no big deal and he "needs" yet another pair of pants because he doesn't have pants in some exact shade yet.  He listens to me 99% of the time and sees how ruinous his parents and friends' lifestyles are, but it is very hard for him not to regress into the patterns of behavior that he was raised with.

I am getting to the point at which I am sick of always having to almost retrain him after we have spent time with his circle.  I am exhausted.  I am also resentful of my money being wasted.  I can honestly say that, from a financial standpoint, he has been a drain on me and I would probably have $50-100k more in the bank if not for him and his family.  I come from third world poverty.  I am an Asian immigrant.  Building wealth is very important to me, as are goals such as being able to pay for my children's college and retiring with a nice, fully paid off house.  DH's family are white Americans who think that there is nothing wrong with a debt-funded "American dream."

Any tips for navigating these differences in ways that don't have me screaming at DH all the time and sometimes wanting to divorce him?  He is perfect in pretty much every other way and is such a good husband/father.  I am not willing to sit back and let him spend our savings stupidly.[/quote]

I am curious as to how you paid off $200K in student debt in three years by age 26.

Assuming you live in Virginia, it take pre-tax earnings of $165K per year to net $100K.  That's before healthcare insurance costs, retirement savings, or any living expenditures at all (food, mortgage/rent, utilities, car).
Let's say it takes $3,000 per month for all expenses.  That leaves you with $64K per year for debt paydown = $200K in just over three years.

But how many 22/23 year old make $165/ year coming out of college???[/quote]

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