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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family.  They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as.  DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses!  (They live halfway across the country).  We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year.  They also want us to throw a big party for DC. [b] DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad.[/b]  I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear."  I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well).  Am I in the wrong here?  [/quote]

You are right. He is playing son, not acting like a grown-up. You could offer to pay for the hotel but not the flights. They are oblivious if they actually expect you to do both. But there are much bigger issues here and they are about your husband, not your in-laws.

Your options:

1. Expect this to happen about everything involving his parents, for the rest of your married life. Enjoy taking second place to mom and dad! You can look forward to a lifetime of resentment and expense. This time it's the baptism. You still have junior's first communion, first day of school, soccer tournament, whatever, to enjoy, with the in-laws by your side after you've paid for their flights!

2. Tell husband it's time for couples counseling. There is no way that it's JUST baptisms that make his parents and him this unreasonable. Isn't it part of a larger pattern where he does what they want to keep the peace? And maybe a pattern where what they want trumps what his wife wants? And a pattern where expense doesn't matter as long as they're happy? That's going to be great for the old college fund.....See past the one event and the one cost and look at whether his intransigence and kowtowing to his parents needs work right now, or else....see No. 1, above.
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