Reply to What's the Point of Chasing Marriage and Kids, Really?!

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Reply to "What's the Point of Chasing Marriage and Kids, Really?!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Honestly, these questions make you sound socially immature.  If having kids would make the woman you love happy, wouldn't that also make you happy? Marriage, or long-term relationships without marriage, are a two-way street.  [b]It's not about you sacrificing/compromising to make someone else happy[/b] -- it's about both of you working together to build a life together.  When (not if) the challenging times set in, you need to examine whether what you have built together is worth it -- not just whether the sacrifices you have made have been worth it.  [/quote]

I am here to disrespect no one, and I resent being disrespected when I have posed clearly logical questions that most PPs grasp in one reading. So please rethink your tone because you do come across as offensive.

I will add "socially immature" to the list of things I am accused of being. Considering it is a 'condition' typical in children, wouldn't you do better just saying 'childish' instead of displaying your level of intelligence? These are questions more men need to ask before they start having kids irresponsibly, and leaving women as single moms, so I make no apologies for being vulnerable to good public wisdom by asking 'childish' questions here.

If you are advising me to "...examine whether what [I] have built together [with my partner] is worth it..." after a child is brought into the world, then I am afraid you are setting me up to do more harm than good. This is why Family Planning was promoted.

Also, the last time I checked the key to any successful relationship is the ability to compromise to make your partner happy. In other words sacrificing and compromising IS one way of "...working together to build a life together..."

In any event, thanks for weighing in and I will take your views into consideration.

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I do appreciate the other comments from PPs who took the time. [b]It seems the overwhelming advice is to stay true to myself and NOT chase parenting if it something I see as taking away more than what it adds to my life[/b]. I don't necessarily think a vasectomy is for me, although I have seriously considered. It still does not take away the need to be a parent, because I could still change my mind further on and adopt, or be a step-dad to my partner's child. So I don't limit parenting to just biologically parenting here, I mean the institution of parenting. So in dating I choose women who are not mothers and who have no intention of being, if she is seeing the relationship over the long-term. I am always fully honest and open, just in case some PPs think I am not and am some type of player.

Thanks again for your comments

OP
[/quote]

Am I the only one who finds this OP to be pompous and insufferable?[/quote]

God no. I'm a pp who advised him on this thread and the other fucked up one he started that he needs therapy for an odd lack of self-reflection.I can't put my finger on it exactly, but "pompous and insufferable" work! Re the bolded part: I mean, like we're going ot tell him NOT to stay true to himself? And then he summarizes all the advice. Something is just missing with this guy. It's like a kid who has social deficits and memorizes a script for what to say when meeting people. And it works unless he has to go off script. And then it's weird.  [/quote]

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