Reply to Vent: clueless dh

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Growing up, he learned how women should be treated by watching his dad be a jerk to his mom. And I learned the same lessons from my own family. To be fair, my husband is much more helpful and supportive than my dad ever was to my mom. But we're both kind of "learning from scratch" on how to be good spouses, good parents. 
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1) think hard about how you are both perpetuating these patterns for your children.

2) the fact that you started with a small vent and ended up contemplating divorce suggests that your feelings--anger, rage, fear, loss--are extremely deep. You have just been trying to keep the lid on things for so long because you know, if you actually got in touch with how you really really feel, it would be explosive, and you would be forced to make some changes that you're not ready for yet.

3)so, in that case, I would absolutely do counseling on your own. I think you are talking yourself off the ledge because its so scary, but also because you have been rationalizing his asshole behavior for so long, maybe you feel guilty or responsible or something. You do not have to put up with it. See a therapist, please. We are all rooting for you. 
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