Reply to DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?

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Reply to "DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my family, there was a couple with this dynamic. He battled addictions for years, and she was by his side, holding him up, helping him along. He could stay clean for a while. When he was clean was when she'd feel something was missing, and that was when she'd have affairs. By the time he really did manage to get clean, there was so much damage between them on both sides that they couldn't stay together. She's textbook codependent, and he's textbook addict. Recovery needs both people in the couple to work on their issues, to break patterns.

And if the addictive person never gets to and works on the underlying issues that feed the addictive behaviors, it's true they will just switch to some new addictive behavior. I know a lot of people who desperately cling to their 12-step meetings for years and years, but never work on trying to heal the actual issues that drive them.

You can't work on being in a relationship until you get some basic work on yourself done. And that goes for both sides.[/quote]

Amen. [/quote]

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