Reply to If your child is gay or bi..how do you handle sleepovers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is this any different than a boy sleeping over at a girl's house or vice versa. Very interesting situation. [/quote]

Very different. No one's getting pregnant in this scenario, for one. Less ambiguity about intentions, for another.[/quote]

How is there less ambiguity about intentions?

And you do realize that pregnancy isn't the only concern about a boy sleeping over a girl's house.  Part of the concern I would have is the possibility for accusations to be made.  You have two teenagers sleeping together alone in a room.  Even if nothing happens, if things ever go wrong with the friendship, accusations could be made.

If I had a son who had a female friend and I knew with certainty they were "just friends" and he had no sexual interest in her, I still would not let him sleepover her house.  It isn't about not trusting the son.  It's about not letting him be in a situation where he is vulnerable to accusations.   Once he goes off to college, sure, it would be out of my hands.  But at 14, you can still sort of protect them.

It sounds like OP has a good relationship with her daughter.  And in theory, I think it's great advice to say "just ask her if she is friends or more than friends with the girl."  But I don't think that's the only issue, especially if OP doesn't really know the parents (are they really conservative?  would they freak out if they later found out that OP's daughter is gay and slept over their house with their daughter alone in a room?  Would they, as a result of their freak out, pull some crazy nonsense, like make accusations, et cetera?)  I don't know I think 14 is young.  I think 14 year olds have enough they are sorting through.  I think sleepovers -- especially in the politically charged and litigious society we live in right now -- just open the door to too much potential trouble.

OP, tell her she can have a late night out to watch movies and you'll pick her up when they're done.

But, that said, I think sleepovers are a bad idea for teenagers (all of them) anyhow.   There was a thread recently where some PPs said they were of a different cultural background (most Asian/South Asian), and that sleepovers were a big no-no.  A lot of that isn't because the parents don't trust their kids.  It's because they understand that it isn't even about what actually happens or doesn't happen.  It's about what people could say happened or didn't happen.

Personally, that seems to me the reason not to have teenage boys sleeping over with teenage girls (even if you are completely convinced they are just friends).  [/quote]

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