Reply to Moving to DC from CA for Love

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the collective pep talk. The snow is pretty and I'm sure it's beautiful out here in the spring.   I think I was coming from a place of frustration and loneliness. I started taking supplements, and on warm days, I take my dogs out for a walk, to liften my mood, just so I wouldn't appear to be such a Debbie downer.  I think part of the reason he's distant and snappy is because he may feel responsible for my sadness. I'm sure work is a contributing factor...but I wouldn't want him to feel any guilt.

I agree that people in DC are a different beast than what I'm accustomed to. It's a different culture and while I do try to be friendly at the dog park, I can't help but feel like a fish out of water. People here seem to be in a perpetual bad mood, and unlike the west coast, I notice people keep to themselves.  And the traffic, the roads, don't help. I'm grateful to have secured a job so soon, but I was almost desperate. I was getting a little cabin fever and finding myself doing menial things around the house to keep myself busy, plus the added guilt of having to depend on someone else. The things I've enjoyed back home were many outdoor things. We do like Virginia and maybe once we get settled, possibly move out there. As long as we both stay intact.

To the poster who mentioned how moving for someone can create a "funky" dynamic--that rings true in light of my own situation.

It's amazing to find many people who were in my exact situation on this website and other fellow San Diegans :) I loved everything about SD. I used to think 63 was freezing, but I'd kill for that right now. [/quote]

I'm the person who mentioned the "funky" dynamic. For me, it's partly because I chose DH over my job and my life, and he essentially chose his job over me (not that he had a ton of options--he was transferred to DC). But, had I not gone with him, he would have gone anyway. And, while logically I know it made more sense for me to leave my job since it was not the be-all, end-all of my existence, it will probably always bother me on an emotional level that my happiness came second. The other thing that makes it awkward is that now you're miserable, and he knows it's basically because of a choice he made. So it's hard to vent to him about your sadness, since he'll take it as a personal attack.

I guess I wish I would have had the inner strength to put my happiness first and stay put--at least for a while. It seemed silly at the time to rank a place over a person, but now I don't know. Some places are pretty great! On the other hand, I could be married to some totally awful jerk right now, and be bitching about that. Good luck with whatever you decide! [/quote]

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