Reply to I asked DH for reassuring words and he flipped out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From a man's perspective, let me just tell you that it can be very difficult to be on the receiving end of these kinds of calls. We are generally programmed to try to "fix" things anyway, but when you're physically in another location and there's nothing we can really do, it stresses us out (even if all you're looking for is a sympathetic ear, our instinct is still to fix it). That helplessness manifests as defensiveness, we react poorly, starting a vicious cycle.

I remember my DW used to call me at work every day around 4 to complain about her day and ask when I was coming home. Which started to annoy the crap out of me because it 1) Interrupted a day that may already be very stressful for me to pile on a bunch of additional problems, none of which I could do anything about in the meantime; and 2) Put me on notice that I was going home to a whole new basket of stress; i.e., I'd be handed the kids, my wife would retreat to her computer or whatever, and I'd pull the proverbial second shift with no chance to decompress myself. I don't mean to sound critical of my wife when I type this -- it's just a very tough dynamic.

Now, your DH and I are different people. We have a different relationship than you guys do. But, if there are any similarities at all, you need to ask yourself whether your need for reassuring words are piling on some sort of stress he may be experiencing. This doesn't mean he should be insensitive and not listen to vent and offer that reassurance. It just means that SOMETIMES it might be better to find a different outlet.

I hope this makes some sense.[/quote]

Not OP, but your post helped me tremendously!  I'll retread it a time or two, that's for sure!  Thanks[/quote]

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