Reply to Anyone else HATE having people to their home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem with hating to have people over is that you miss out on a lot of fun invitations. My husband's best friend at work has been to our house about three times with his wife. He admitted to my husband that his wife won't entertain because she feels her house is too small. So guess what? We don't invite them to our house anymore, haven't for years. We see them at other people's homes and occasions out in public, but what a shame for them that they're not willing to entertain.[/quote]

Do you keep a little spreadsheet with tally marks? Like every time you are invited to someone's house you mark a check? and then when they come to your house, you mark a check and if the checks are not even then they are off the list? You sound like a ton of fun. Do you work? Just curious. You seem to have a lot of time on your hands for tracking purposes.[/quote]

I do work, full time.  It's not hard at all to "keep track" when the other party has never had you over.  Are you the kind whose kids get invited to others' houses continually and you don't bother to keep track of when it's your turn to host?[/quote]

No, but I do not invite people over without the expectation of something in return. If I invite someone over it is because I enjoy their company, not because I'm desperate for an invite to their house. Furthermore, if I knew someone was insecure about the condition or size of their home, I certainly would not get offended by their insecurity. Don't take things so personally, everything is not about you, or an offense to your person.[/quote]

The first three times I was okay with offering no strings attached hospitality. Any more invites from me, and I would feel they were using me, so I stopped inviting them. Is there any point at which you get tired of making an effort for people if they don't reciprocate in any way whatsoever?[/quote]

[b]No because I don't get offended when people might be uncomfortable hosting. I'm friends with people because I enjoy their company. They have something else to offer that is deeper than a change of venue to their house. No way do I want someone to feel pressure to have me in their home if they are not comfortable with it. Maybe they are hoarders, messy, OCD, or embarrassed for any reason. Maybe they get anxiety over having guests. Whatever it is, it's not about me. We can hang at my house or we can go to a bar/restaurant. For me it is about the company, not who has hosted the most.[/b][/quote]

+1 to all of this. Not everyone operates in the exact same way. Expecting them too and then getting mad  and making negative assumptions when they don't is just a recipe for being unhappy and horribly petty.[/quote]

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