Reply to SAHMs: how do you balance time alone versus spouse's time alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait, I just don't understand how the OP is the problem.  I don't even get the sense that she's complaining!  Her DH wants more time to himself, and he's right to want that, but she can want that, too.  It's not like watching a child all day is giving her "time to herself."

I'm a SAHP but also used to work PT.  It was tough, and I feel for WOHPs.  But this attitude of hating on SAHPs is unfair.  I remember being stressed a lot when I was at work, but I also could take a 5-minute break.  I could go to the bathroom without someone screaming into the bathroom for me to come help with something.  I could go get a cup of coffee without worrying that something terrible was going to happen at my workstation while I got up to go get it.  I could chat with other adults for a moment in between working on projects.  It was stressful, but there were built-in break times -- things we need to recharge.

When you SAH, you don't ever have those break times.  No matter how well-behaved your kids are, they simple want as much as you can give all the time.  Maybe they nap -- or maybe they don't -- and then perhaps you have a short break.  Well, I wouldn't ask you to use your 15-minute coffee break to scrub the bathroom at work or vacuum around your desk, and it's not fair to assume a SAHP has the energy to run off and do these things the minute she/he finally gets a break.

Also, doing errands is important, but maybe the OP really wants to spend time with her kid -- doing things that are helping him/her develop and grow, not just running around town going to the post office and grocery store.  I personally think these things are valuable lessons, but I also  understand the hesitation to do them all the time, particularly if I'd like for a moment to peacefully think about what I want to make for dinners this week instead of just frantically throw things in the cart before a meltdown occurs.[/quote]

I don't see a lot of SAHP hate.  I just think that people are pointing out that OP seems totally overwhelmed by taking care of her kid.  You do not have to play with your kid every hour that they are awake.  Most moms I know figure out how to get at least a few tasks done during the day with their child, or run at least some of their errands, but this is apparently beyond the OP.  I get that SAH is work, but it might just be that it's work that OP is not well-suited for.  She gets an hour or two of free time every night and weekend evenings--that's as much as most adults get.  I don't understand why she feels like she should get more, when she's unwilling or unable to get anything done during the day that would free up her evenings and weekends.

And you know what I use my work breaks for?  Taking care of family stuff--making appointments, running errands, buying things we need online.  [/quote]

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