Reply to 11yo DD furious that we don't allow screens M-Th

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, haven't read every response here, but I'm with you.

It's easy to say, in theory, "Screen time after all homework is done on weeknights is just fine," but honestly, if you allow it, she might try to convince you to let her have screen time first "so I can wind down after school" and so on. That's why my own DD (13) would like to try, but she knows that any needed down time after school means a snack while she reads, and then it's on to homework.

Like you, we have no screen time (other than computer time for schoolwork) M-Th.

That means my middle schooler now really looks forward to Fridays. She actually is very into doing at least some homework Friday afternoons (she often has a lot of weekend homework) so that she can treat herself to TV later on Friday evenings. Same with Saturdays; she's glad to get up and do homework in the mornings so she can feel free and relaxed about watching TV or a movie Saturday nights. She looks forward to it all week and plans how she's going to get X and Y done so she can see her favorite shows and not worry about all the homework piling up on Sundays. She's self-regulating it now and is motivated by her Friday and Saturday night screen time reward. We never called it a reward for homework or said she could only watch weekend TV if a certain amount of homework was done -- she came up with that idea herself, knowing she has a lot of homework to get through and not liking to have it hanging over her.

Kids who have school plus an activity on any weeknights just don't need screen time. I know a lot of parents say a little is fine after homework is done. But for us, our daughter would find it just a distraction to anticipate it through her homework time. Plus, she has a four-days-a-week activity that has her out as late as 7 or 8:30 some weeknights, so really there is just not time for even a half-hour of TV M-Th nights, unless she stayed up later to have it -- and that is not going to happen.

Front seat of the car? At 11? No. Not negotiable. My kid is in the front mostly but she is the size of an adult now.

Don't let her complaints about what other kids do, or her desire to have you canvass other parents' rules, make you cave. I would not ask other parents about their bedtime or car or screen time rules. Our house runs the way that works for us, and others' rules are not relevant. Do listen to her if she can present some reasoned discussion in favor of, say, extending TV watching to Sunday (we used to not have TV on Sunday nights for her as that is a school night, but now that she's older, it's OK if all work is done and it's something fairly short; she made the argument and we listened.)

Interestingly, though I have not canvassed them specifically about it, many of her friends' parents also don't allow weeknight screen time or are very limited about it. Stick to your choices, OP. You're not alone.[/quote]

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