Reply to 11yo DD furious that we don't allow screens M-Th

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have always had this rule during the school year.  Lately she is really upset about it.  She says she just "wants to be normal".  She says she is the only one.  She cried herself to sleep about it 2 nights ago.

She has daily homework and gets it done without problems.  She plays soccer 3 nights a week.  She has lots of screen time Friday-Sunday.

She says we baby her and that our rules are abnormal.  She still sits in the back seat, and is outraged about that too.  She also has a "in bed by 8:45, lights out by 9pm" bedtime.  She says this is also crazy.  She has to get up at 6:15 for school start time of 7:30 so I worry about her getting enough rest.

Also, my hope is that if she doesn't have access to screens, she'll read.  She used to be a voracious reader, but now there are so many things competing for her time.  I feel she has stopped reading for pleasure and I worry that her vocaulary will not develop.

Is no screens M-Th excessively strict?

I do notice that virtually all of her classmates and soccer teammates sit in the front seat.  I think she is actually the only one who sits in the back seat still.  She weighs 80 pounds.

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Three nights a week devoted to sports sounds really over the top to me. One night is plenty.[/quote]
OP here.  I agree with you somewhat.  She is required to play/practice this much to be on her team.  She does love it.  She was one of only two girls on her regular season team who did not do two indoor leagues this winter.  We stuck to one indoor league because I felt that 2 was excessive in every way.  Now regular season practices are starting up.  It's a lot. I feel we have come to a crossroads with soccer where she either has to practice and participate in tournaments a lot or move to rec.  She loves her team and teammates.  It is costly and I worry about injury.  Declining to do 2 indoor leagues this winter reduced her playing time compared to her teammates, so we will see how that plays out this spring.

She benefits from exercise every day, and can be annoying to be around if she hasn't had movement.  So that's a positive of all these practices.  I wish I could just "send her out to run around", but there aren't any other kids close to her age playing outside in our neighborhood.  I think they are all at sports or music practice.

My hsuband and I plan to allow her more autonomy with weekday screens, have to figure out how to go about it.  I don't want her to think that she harrassed us into it and that this is an effective way to get rules changed, so we are going to sit tight for a little while longer.  Great advice here, thanks.   [/quote]

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