Reply to I want ILs to stay in a hotel, DH won't budge

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Reply to "I want ILs to stay in a hotel, DH won't budge"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]TBH, if the roles were reversed and my DH ever tried to treat my parents the way some of you are advising the OP to do, we would divorce with a quickness. [/b]

But like a PP said, familes are different.  I love my IL's and they are welcome to stay whenever they come to town just as my parents are. And this is something DH and I discussed at length befoe we were married - what role would our parents play.   The one thing we told both sets is that we would not be elaborately entertaiing them.  We work them into our routine.  They are fine with that and actually like living a part of our day to day.  I enjoy their adult company and they always babysit one night while we go out.  So...instead of turning them away, we have embraced them and made it pleasant. [/quote]

Spot on!

Some of the advice on this issue is nothing short of a prescription for destroying a marriage.[/quote]

But what about the husband's complete disregard for what his wife has stated is an issue for her?[/quote]

But about the wife's complete disregard for what her DH has stated is an issue for him?  See...we could do this all day and not solve anything. TBH, this is one of those issues where OP and her DH need to compromise going in with the understanding that neither of them will get 100% of what they want. Wanting IL's to stay in a hotel is NOT a compromise. [/quote]

it doesn't quite work that way, pp.   You are saying the wife has complete disregard because she isn't doing exactly what DH wants as often as he wants.   THe wife doesn't have complete disregard for her DH's position (parents visiting). SHe is compromising.  First, by letting this go on for quite a while so far, and now, asking they stay at hotel, or not visit as much.  That's compromise - NOT complete disregard.

Her DH, OTOH, is basically saying f-you.  they are coming as much as they have been, staying here, end of story.  That's complete disregard.  See.... we can't do this all day and not solve anything.  [/quote]

No, what I am saying is that you can parse blame and disregard any fricking way you want and it still does not solve the problem.  We can also argue until the cows come home about what a compromise would be going forward.  I just think that, contrary to how a lot of people on here think, there is no "right or wrong" position here.  OP is not wrong to want to limit the visits and her DH is not wrong for wanting his parents around. [/quote]

I'm the pp you're responding to.  Ok. I see what you're saying and agree.  I thought you were making the actual statement that wife had disregard, not that playing blame game is ineffective.  I agree with you on that.  [/quote]

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