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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.[/quote]
Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it. [/quote]

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level.  But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.
[/quote]

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado

Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

[/quote]

This is absurd.  To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread.  Not to mention a bunch of man-haters.  What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively?  So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.[/quote]

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