Reply to i wish my boyfriend was more motivated

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you discussed this with him OP? If so, what is his response?

If he has two "fancy" degrees already, then he is already on the right track in life. He is still relatively young to still branch out and seek a good career.

Perhaps he just needs some more time....??

Not sure.

Anyway, if after awhile you still feel like his just lacks true ambition, you and him are just not going to be compatible.

Ultimately it will be entirely up to you to decide if something like this would be a true deal-breaker for you future wise.

Hope this helps.[/quote]

Thanks for a thoughtful response. He is really smart and works hard once he is on a set path. He did really well in school and attended te top programs in his field (Middle East history). Upon graduation 2 years ago however, he realized that he doesn't want to work for CIA like he initial wanted to. These days he works for a private investigations company and earns an okay living for a 26 year old, especially compared to his peers who also majored in history and are making 29k at think tanks and non profits. He is clear he wants a job that is well paid but he doesn't want to branch out into the finance sector. I don't quite know how to help him find direction. It's not that he's lazy, he's jut lost and confused. He also keeps saying he wants to give me the option of staying home with out eventual children if I wanted. It's a wonderful idea but we need for him to be earning more so we can afford that, you know? [/quote]

I'm one of the posters that said either you find a way to help contribute to the SAH dream (saving up money, investments etc) or find the older guy more established in his career that wants his wife to be a SAHM.  That said, realize that no matter your plan, this could all be moot.  You may not be able to get pregnant, you may need expensive IVF treatments, he could have this great high paying career and he gets laid off when you are pregnant...  So you have to be willing to get rid of an otherwise great guy for a situation that may not happen.  Something like have kid/not having kids is a pretty all or nothing decision, there is no partially doing it or having kids and changing your mind 5 years later.  Being a SAH parent is a little more fluid, circumstances can change and you can adjust the SAH periods or even by primarily a SAH with a small part-time job.[/quote]

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