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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is more of a friendship dilemma but this forum seems to be the best one given the situation.

I have a newborn baby. DH and I invited a very small handful of close friends via email over to help us clean up our Christmas tree and decorations. None of these friends have kids and some are single.One friend replied that she would come, and today she showed up with one of her friends (who I know but more as an acquaintance). I didn't invite the acquaintance and my friend didn't ask if the acquaintance could.come along. I was not happy this happened but let it slide.

About an hour in, I'm sitting on the couch feeding my baby a bottle when the acquaintance sits down next to me and says she wishes she could hold the baby but she won't because she has a cold. I immediately got up and said I wanted to see if the baby would take a nap, but really I wanted to remove him from her presence. She followed me to the nursery saying that she wanted to see it, and then I said I didn't want her around the baby since she had a cold. She left and didn't say anything. 10 minutes later my friend came into the room and said they had to get going but was happy to see me etc. Acquaintance didn't come back in (good) but she also didn't apologize for anything.

So I need to address 3 things:

1) My friend who thinks it's ok to bring people to my house even though they weren't invited. The writing on my email didn't say people could invite others. I didn't think I needed to say NOT to invite others because I though it was a given, silly me.
2)  The girl who tagged along. If you're not invited somewhere, then don't go, even if someone who was invited tells you it's ok to come.
3) Not only was she not invited, but she brought gems into my house

I really like my friend and want to keep our friendship but it drives me crazy that almost every other time I invite her to do something, she brings one or two or sometimes three other people along, but I'm not sure how to address it. I don't really care for the acquaintance so I'm not too worried about offending her, especially after this happened I am livid. Im not sure what I should say to my friend or if I should do it over email, phone, or in person; but I need to say something otherwise her actions could continue to damage our friendship

Sry for typos.
[/quote]

[b]I really like my friend and want to keep our friendship but it drives me crazy that almost every other time I invite her to do something, she brings one or two or sometimes three other people along, but I'm not sure how to address it. I don't really care for the acquaintance so I'm not too worried about offending her, especially after this happened I am livid. Im not sure what I should say to my friend or if I should do it over email, phone, or in person; but I need to say something otherwise her actions could continue to damage our friendship[/b]

Maybe that's the only way she can deal with spending time with you?  If you are "inviting" a friend over to do chores for you, then I don't blame her for bringing a friend.  Maybe you should stop inviting her to do stuff for you, and see if she reaches out to you and invites you to something social.  It seems like your friendship is a bit one sided if you are doing all the asking.  Just stop asking her over and keep up a casual friendship via email or text.  Frankly, I think your actions have probably already damaged what friendship you had.  Hence her need for a wingman.[/quote]

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