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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do they actually sit down for dinner?  Is there a place for everyone at the table?  Are they done with dessert by the time you get there?

If there's not a proper meal served, I don't really understand the point of going there for "Christmas dinner", when there's no actual dinner.   Can you do dinner with your family?  Do you travel to see these people?   I'd plan for a meal elsewhere, and then like a pp suggested, just show up with a dessert to share with them.

I think for most people the focus is less the food than the sharing of the meal.  I'd honestly be more pissed/disappointed that there was no actual meal than that the food was gone.  Even if there was enough food for us, it would be weird to sit and eat it if everyone else had already gone ahead and eaten their food without us.[/quote]

They do not sit down.  They stand up, there is not enough room for everyone.  Mil keeps inviting more people, with the same amount of food.   Like I said, it is baffling.  I think she believes it is a contest of some sort: "how many people can this small turkey feed? Let's see!".  I have to keep my sense of humor.

It is just our nuclear family, other than DH's family who lives close by, but never sees us, except maybe twice per year.

I definitely agree sharing of the meal is key!  Thank you for touching upon that.  My experience is polar opposite DH's, which adds to my confusion.  Why would anyone keep inviting more people, yet never have enough food?  Yikes.

OP here.   [/quote]

This info makes the scene make more sense.  Yes, MIL sounds rude and crazy.  But everyone's standing around with the food sitting out, and it's not like they sit down for dinner, so people just start filling plates.  And MIL is probably a little pissed at her son for making it obvious he doesn't like spending time with the family by showing up at the last minute.  And she starts to realize that there isn't really enough food (which clearly she should have known) so she's not going to put aside food for the last family to appear, who she already is kind of mad at.

How do you and your husband get along with the other relatives. Could you stage a coup and all bring a ton of food?  If not, I would just avoid the crazy, and focus on making your own traditions (and, yes, send DH to therapy).[/quote]

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