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[quote=Cassiopeia][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
As far as being a bitchy roommate, I don't want sex.  I turn him down when he wants it.  I am beyond terrified of getting pregnant again.  I cry a lot and tell him he doesn't understand.  YES, that's all I'm doing that makes him call me bitchy.  Turning down sex and crying.No, it doesn't make sense.[/quote]

Have you talked to your OB about birth control?
Or are you planning not to have sex again? If so, that's something you really need to discuss with your husband. I've seen too many threads about sexless marriages and they sound like hell.

[/quote]

The NP in his office suggested Paraguard so I can avoid the hormones, but that's not really my thing.  Our plan was to use condoms but the failure rate terrifies me.  DH is holding out that I'll change my mind about another baby and doesn't want to get snipped.  [/quote]

OP, you seem to have a lot of excuses for everything. Why you haven't gotten help for your PPD. why your husband finds you difficult. Now why you can't have sex.

If you're that scared about pregnancy, then a temporary, effective birth control option that's "not your thing" (such as an IUD) BECOMES your thing, especially since using condoms terrifies you. Or, you seek out dual contraception like diaphragm + condom so that you can feel more comfortable about risk.

If you're terrified of pregnancy, then sorry, but the onus is on you to not get pregnant. Denying your husband sex is certainly going to work to avoid pregnancy, but it's not going to do much for your marriage.

Asking your husband to get a vasectomy (a permanent option) if he does not want to is unfair, and withholding sex because of that is pathologically so. Especially since there are other options that have been offered to you, with less risk and permanency.

I think there's more to your story than you're stating here. Would love to get your husbands point of view. [/quote]

Well, I would have said I have religious objections to the IUD, but I'd get flamed for that.  So there.  I'm too pro-life to use one.  Flame away.  We're seriously looking at only condoms or a diaphragm, both of which have abysmal  failure rates.  Yes, that scares me that much.  My delivery was traumatic and I don't care to repeat it, nor can my body physically handle another delivery without good spacing.  And since another pregnancy doesn't affect my husband's physical and mental well being, that's that.  And I fail to see how [b]asking [/b]him to get a vasectomy is unfair.  And beyond the birth control thing, I don't have much desire to have sex with a man who calls me evil and a bitch.  Yes, that flits into my brain every time he makes a move.

No, I don't have an underlying mental condition.  I was fine while not on birth control, which was for most of my life - I only started it 3 months before the wedding.  I was fine while not pregnant.   I was fine while my hormones weren't all over the place postpartum.  [/quote]

I wouldn't make any decisions about permanent birth control right now. You have a three month old baby. For those of us who have been there, that says it all. Your hormones are all over the place. Your life has been upended in ways you could never have prepared for. You're probably sleep deprived. You had a traumatic delivery. Your husband is mad at you and wants a divorce. You're working and probably miss the baby while you're gone. Or you don't miss the baby and feel guilty about it. Your life is going crazy. Of course you're irritable. Of course you're tired! Sleep, which used to be such a basic, easy thing to get, is now at a premium.

Op, just know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there. Tell your husband that the way things are now is not forever. Ask for his patience with your moods, with your thoughts about future children, with your feelings about sex. Ask him to be gentle with you. Ask him to treat you as if you have cancer. He wouldn't be angry and threatening divorce then. He would understand your anger, your moods, your fatigue, your thoughts about the future.

In the meantime, seek treatment. Tell us how your appointment today goes. Keep going to therapy, I'd imagine once a week is what you need, and possibly some antidepressants. I think you have depression, which can be a lot like cancer, including being terminal. Be gentle with yourself and hang in there. It gets better, I promise. [/quote]

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