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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think who makes what, who's more ambitious, and who is which gender is a red herring here.

Are the financial commitments he wants to make large or small? If they're large, do you make large financial commitments without talking to him? If you do, then let it go. If you don't, then you need to tell him that you should be making these decisions together. If he can't get his head around that, it will damage your marriage.[/quote]

The immediate ones are moderate at best (vacations, "things" and experiences he knows people always wanted to have/do), the projected "in a few years" are very big (house, cars). I don't make financial decisions alone, not even when shopping for small things for myself, I get mild anxiety about big purchases and often take a lot of time before pulling the trigger. He tends to be more independent when purchasing, always has been and I pick my battles about which to actually protest. I am worried that the same behavior will continue on a larger scale.

To the other PP, it's not solely in money but it is about goals and commitments and achieving them. I'm doing what I always wanted to do, I've stayed focus on this very specific thing. He isn't even doing what he wanted or loves, and as I said before that makes it harder to just let be. [/quote]

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