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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dad had a complete separate family. I learned in 3rd grade. It did taint how I looked at him, but the real loser in my eyes is my mom who flipped out and didn't try to save her marriage. As a result, my full sibling and I grew up in poverty while the halfs got a pretty cushy upbringing AND our dad. My mom also has spent the last three decades trashing my dad and his mistress.[/quote]

Um, you do realize that your Dad is the a-hole here, right.  Please tell me you haven't blamed/vilified your mother for this.  [/quote]

My dad has apologized to us again and again. My mother takes no responsibility for her role in how things ended up. To this day, my mother ruins nearly every family occasion by trying to pick a fight with my dad. I glad that at least he got some peace from her when he left. Wish he'd taken us, too. Growing up in the ghetto is hard. Growing up in the ghetto with a depressed, bitter mother is so much worse. [/quote]

How is it your mother's responsibility that your father chose to lavish his secret family with wealth but kept you in poverty?  What prevented him from sending you money to help you escape from the ghetto?  What prevented him from seeking custody of you?

You are truly blaming the victim here.  Your father could have chosen to be a better dad.  The fact that he is apologizing now and your mom is still depressed and bitter may simply reflect the fact that his life is pretty comfortable, and apologizing costs him nothing, while your mom is still miserable thanks to his betrayal and having had to live in poverty all these years.[/quote]

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