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[quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]Whenever I hear of a gay person marrying a straight person of the opposite sex, it often comes off as though the sraight person is being used just to have children.  If my husband did this to me, I think I would feel he used me to pop out some kids for him.  [/b]

In this case it sounds like the wife knew he at least leaned this way.  She might be less surprised than he imagines.[/quote]

My ex-husband absolutely used me to have children, the house to attain the appearance of being 'normal' to his law partners, family and church community.
Unfortunately, I found gay porn 8 years on the family computer 7 years and 2 kids into the marriage- I was devastated because the life I thought I had was a complete and utter lie. I hate when people assume the wife knew and blame her. However, one friend out of many family and friends that met my fiancé did ask me if my fiancé was gay. I point blank asked my fiancé and he said no. We met at church and he was very religious. My fiancé seemed interested in me, responded to me sexually etc. Flash forward and six months into the marriage he is less interested in sex (begging off with excuses that medication is making him tired, coming to bed later than me) but starts saying he wants to start a family a year after we are married a year. We have two kids and my sex drive goes very low, so sex wasn't an issue until we got out of toddler phase...husband goes to doctor gets prescription for Viagra (?!!) hoping it will increase his sex drive but it didn't...one night 7 years into marriage everything clicked, his preoccupation with gay couple across the street, his love of certain Broadway shows, and I asked him if we was attracted to other men and he said yes before I could finish the question. I was hysterical and inconsolable and ashamed that my relationship and marriage was a lie. He said he was sexually molested as a child and that he was sexually confused and didn't want to have same sex attraction issues. He agreed to go to counseling to work through the childhood issues, and he did for 3 months. But once the secret was out btwn us he became very mean, verbally abusive because I was making him acknowledge the truth which he preferred to hide. I began to realize that he'd put on a show to everyone, his family, friends, etc. and I was damaging the image he wanted to project. Like I said in year 8, I found the gay porn on the computer after his counseling, after he said he was devoted to me etc...so I filed for divorce and took the kids and left him.  He talked about and trashed me to anyone who would listen because he didn't want his secret out so he tried to ruin my credibility in case I told anyone. In reality, I told just a few close friends who were helping me during my separation because I was ashamed that I had been used. He dragged out the divorce, made it unnecessarily contentious and continued to wear his wedding ring(?!).  I hate that my husband was closeted- this is D.C.,so it was unnecessary and he could have been open and out- but I hate even more that I was used by a narcissist. I have moved on but this was a very painful chapter that I've learned and grown from.[/quote]

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