Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A recent poster was not explicit about the circumstances of her child's birth but I will be. I was told that my infant DC was the product of rape and the birthmother did not know the birth father. The agency explained that she may have been untruthful about that but let's assume that what I was told is true.

I have not told any family or friends and do not intend to ever tell anyone else but DC at age 16 or 18 or so. I have left some paperwork in our lawyer's office (with the rest of the adoption papers) and there is always a chance the birthmother might reach out also. I have read a few discussions about whether you should ever tell a child this news (if you tell, their world may be shattered/if you don't and they find out, they will never trust you again). [b]I love my child dearly and do not believe that God makes mistakes.[/b] I am hoping these will be the two messages that stick if/when DC receives this news.

Has anyone else adopted a child who is the product of rape? What advice might you share, please?[/quote]

[b]Rape is not a mistake it's intentional. And just because the mother decided not to abort doesn't mean the rapist did a "good thing."
[/b]
You don't  know what happened, so all you need to tell your child is that he/she is loved and its mother was unable to care for it. You don't know about the father, so let it be.
 
My only concern is that if the father didn't sign away rights, he could come back for his child later. It doesn't matter if it was rape or not. He is entitled to have his child. Another reason why women should abort a product of rape, but that's their choice. Unfortunately her choice to keep the child affects you, the father and the child should the father demand the return of his child.

[/quote]

Oh, come on.  The mother did something good, not the rapist. The child's life is not something bad, even though the act that created it was bad. [/quote]

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