Reply to H is not happy with sex only once a week

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find it sad how many people on here seem to think it's okay to drive your husband away because he wants sex.

Sex isn't a power play in a relationship. It's something you give freely out of love and desire. It's a gift of intimacy that you give to your partner, but not one that you wield over their heads because they did to help you do the dishes or bathe the kids. It's an experience that is shared mutually. You don't lose by giving it.

It also doesn't require you to be in the rare mood that happens when Venus aligns with Pluto on a Saturday during  the equinox and it happened to be the day he trailed petals of flowers in hall all the way to the perfectly filled and candlelit bubble bath. It only requires you wanting to give  to your partner something only you can give them (well, alternative lifestyles notwithstanding). It requires you wanting to connect on a level that you don't share with anyone else on the planet. .. One that has no secrets, no shame, and is purely about pleasure.

OP, this man is saying that he finds YOU to be the most beautiful, erotic thing he sets his eyes on. He wants to pleasure you, and have you pleasure him. He doesn't want you to just be the gal who makes his lunch and does his laundry. What is he negative in that AT ALL? You turn him in, and he wants to express that WITH YOU.

Things have been lean because of career absences, etc. maybe the pressures are off now. Enjoy it. He considers you to be a hot thing that he wants to get it on with. So get it on, before he turns that energy elsewhere and you are just the sandwich maker. [/quote]

[b]The problem w this statement is that perhaps he ISN'T making her feel desired. Just because he wants sex does not mean he is being romantic or loving. [/b][/b][b]

I disagree w the poster who said maintenence sex. If you are not enjoying it, it becomes a chore and you will resent him. You both need to work on having enjoyable sex. [/quote]

And my problem with this statement is- why is the impetus on the man to make his partner feel loved first?  He may feel unloved due to the rejection of his sexual advances. He's trying to express love, and she isn't reciprocating it. Maybe to feel more romantic, he needs to connect through more sex. [b]Why is it the preening of the female is the necessary first?
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Sex isn't about keeping some kind of score.

[/quote]

Men have quick to fire sex drives. Women have slow burn sex drives. Look at the porn they consume. Men look at short clips and visual images. Fast, quick, wham, bam, thank you ma'am porn. Women read 300+ page romance novels that include plot, character development and sex.

If you want more sex, then you need to make it more enjoyable for her. If you want to sit around whine about how unfair it is, then do without. [/quote]

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