Reply to Ways to make life move forward when everyone else is having babies and you aren't and probably won't

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[quote=Anonymous]Op here.  Going to choose my words very carefully! Thank you all for the kind words. I'm glad there is a place where people can discuss this issue which is sadly common yet so kept hidden. I think some advice here may sound simplistic to people in the trenches of infertility, and that's rubbed some readers wrong, and I don't blame them, but I don't take offense.  I am coming to realize that when a person really wants a child, and can't have one, there is a void there that just may never heal or be filled in any real way.  A person never 'gets over' that void. Instead, they get used to it.  Just like losing a close friend, member of the family, or spouse, some voids can't be filled.  Most people are the 'walking wounded' in some way, whether it's by infertility or a myriad of other reasons. It's sad, yes, but it's kinda the truth.  The irony is that although infertility feels isolating, it actually makes you MORE like other people-- having experienced a big loss--- than not.  You know?  Infertility, and miscarriage, are all 'deaths in the family,' in a way.  We're not mourning someone who died... we're mourning someone who won't be born.  And that is huge.  Unfortunately, our society hasn't been so open about this.  That's changing.  But I still think there's so much more that needs to change, starting with young women being much better educated about the continuum of puberty to menopause, and where they are along that continuum.  And for reasons beyond having babies: where they are along that continuum affects all kinds of health issues, for Pete's sake!  It's by nature specifically female, however, and medicine is still male-centric.  We need to change that.  We also need to make this a much more common topic to openly discuss, and reduce the shame and isolation surrounding it.   xo to all![/quote]

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