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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like I am this mom.  I don't go to the pool every day, and I have a daughter, but otherwise this is me.

I can't believe people are advising you to stay away.  I know in my case, I have been a member of my pool for 4 years.  People don't greet us, they don't say hi to us.  They have seen us repeatedly but they act like they don't know us.  I feel like we are invisible to them except that we are putting on a show as Special Needs Madonna and Child.

What I want (and again I only speak for myself), is for parents and children at our pool to SAY HELLO TO US.  SAY OUR NAMES.  Hi Larla!  Hi Larlette!  Are you having fun at the pool!

You can ask anything you want about my child's disability.  I have absolutely no problem with that and if your children are curious, that's not a problem either.  I would much rather answer questions than the total silence that reigns when I enter the pool, the looks of pity, and the times that people do talk to me as if I'm some sort of Mother Teresa and so, so wonderful to take my daughter to the pool.  I'm a MOM taking my CHILD to the pool.  End of story.  I happen to carry her because she can't walk.[/quote]

I'm a first time mom of a two year old boy. He is not disabled. At this point, I see the same moms at the pool, indoor play places, story time, etc. I've found that it's very rare for another mom to introduce herself to me, and it's even rare for another mom to acknowledge us other than maybe a little nod with minimal eye contact. It strikes me as very strange, but I've gotten used to it. The moms I do talk to, I mostly had to initiate, usually by saying some dumb thing like "oh hey, I was thinking of buying that same pool bag, do you like it?" or whatever. Even then, some moms just brush me off. I think if they already have friends, they're not interested in making more. There's also the moms like me, who are bad at starting conversations, or who have almost given up even trying, so hearing a "hello" from another mom (like you) would be music to my ears. However, as socially awkward as I am, I've managed to make some acquaintances, moms I chat with when I see them around, and a couple I'm friends with on facebook. Recently, a woman I see around a lot came up to me and introduced herself. You could just try that. Just walk up to somebody and say "Hi, I've seen you here a lot recently. My name's Mary. This is Jane."  I've no doubt your situation is different, so I apologize if I sound like an idiot, but if I were a mom at your pool, I'd appreciate you saying hi to me, to break the ice, you know? Regardless of your child's disability. [/quote]

I get that you are well meaning but you have no idea how many barriers there are -- literal and psychological -- when you have a disabled child.  [/quote]

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