Reply to Regret Marrying Someone with Kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again - the other thing I forgot to add is the feeling of guilt.  MIL used to have no problem when we would go out of town to visit my family but now makes comments about our "vacations".  One time we planned to go to a wedding over Memorial Weekend and their mom announced she also wanted to go on vacation that weekend and told DH to take the kids.  We already had tickets, etc and it was not our weekend.  They ended up staying with DH's brother and his family and I felt so bad our entire trip.
I feel guilty when I ask that we spend a holiday visiting my family, like I am depriving the other kids of time with their father.

MIL insists that if she attends an event for the younger kids that the stepkids be invited as well so they don't feel left out.  Not always practical and also, younger kids are missing out on her attention.[/quote]

MIL sounds like she is over involved and difficult, BUT... you need to also start thinking about your family as a group of 6.  The relationships won't improve if you maintain an us/them attitude.  I have a stepchild 9 years older than my biological child... but I consider them both equal parts of our family- as does my husband.  Vacations are planned for places that have things that appeal to both age groups.  We also split times so sometimes DH takes bio child to bday parties and I do something with stepchild.

My family also treats all the kids as "ours" and gives gifts and acknowledgments to my step child as well as they biological grandchild.  If we visit my family step child is always welcome.

I understand that circumstances changed, but you all need to change with them and make the family work together.  Your DH definitely needs to set some boundaries for MIL.

Good luck[/quote]

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