Reply to How Do I Trust that DH Did Not Have an Affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have had to do almost everything this whole marriage BY MYSELF.  My DH is never around when I need him.  During the Washington sniper spree, he was overseas.  I was here with a little girl and commuting to NYC once a week.  He refused to come back.  When my mother died and a psychiatrist said I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown he could not come back.  This past round, I had strep throat and had to go to the ER.  He could not come back.  He is an absentee husband and father.  I think I want to divorce him, but am afraid I will not get everything I deserve.  I need the house, and he owes me compensation for being his slave all these years.  I am tired of it.  I wish he would just go and never come back. [/quote]

You have worked for years. You are raising a child. I am sympathetic to how difficult that is when you're on your own sometimes, and the examples you cite make me sad that you did not get the support you needed. But be real.

I was a single parent with young children. I had two deaths in the family, a mother with a degenerative illness and money troubles. I work full time and have had to scramble for help with childcare during snow days and school breaks. What you are describing does not sound any worse than anything many people face. My daughter's father travels a lot too, such that he is not around when I need him. Despite this, I would not speak of him the way you've spoken of your husband.

Do not divorce because of an imaginary affair. Divorce because you are unhappy and feel nothing but contempt for someone you promised to love forever.[/quote]

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