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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- husband agrees with me BUT is petrified of his dad (probably because of the "swattings" from when he was a kid!).  So is unable to comprehend saying "no" to his dad.[/quote]

I think you should say something like "Aiden is very excited to spend time with his Grandpa and we are excited for him to spend time with you but [b]there is one small point[/b] I want to clarify before the weekend gets underway. We want to confirm that you understand that we don't swat Aiden for any reason and that you will agree to manage his behavior with timeouts." If he says he can't comply then don't send him but give him a chance to understand that this is a real issue for you. People soften up as they get older and if he's anything like my FIL, who spanked his kids, he wouldn't even consider raising a hand to his grandson. [/quote]

That is by no means a small point! If this happened with my FIL or children, I wouldn't let them go this time or any other time through the distant future, until I was completely certain that the people I leave my child with will follow my and DH's rules about how we raise them.

OP, most others have given good advice: if DH is scared of FIL, that is a really good sign. I'm all for the adult child standing up to their own parents about their families; but if they can't or aren't able to, the spouse/partner/etc. should be free to do so.[/quote]

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