Reply to Will DW's libido ever return post-infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seriously! Have you though about doing more chores OP?[/quote][/quote]

OP here.  Yeah, I have tried "choreplay" but choreplay doesn't actually ramp up the libido.  It may get a thank-you BJ.  That's nice and all but not what I am concerned about.  [b]I am more interested in whether DW will regain her urge to have sex because she is, you know, actually desiring her husband[/b] as opposed to feeling like she should do something to be nice.[/quote]

Here's the thing:  She doesn't control that.  She really doesn't.  [b]So if she has sex to be nice (and not because she desires it - she doesn't), that's not enough either[/b]?  You need for her to both have sex and *want* to have sex, just having sex is not enough for you?  Even though she has no control over her lack of libido?[/quote]

OP here.  Yes, I want her to want to have sex.  Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.  Would you be ok if your husband had no interest in sex, so he offered to use a dildo on you while he yawned and thought of the Redskins game?  Of course not.  You would probably rather go without.

I am totally fine and would happily accept the sympathy B.J. if it were also accompanied by the occasional "I really want to fuck you tonight" romp.  I think all partners owe their spouses what it takes to get in the mood.  If that means shutting off the football game/Real Housewives of NYC and taking time to fantasize, connect, etc, then do it at least once a week.  If you can't muster once a week energy to maintain mutual sexual attraction with your spouse, you should consider allowing the sexual part of the relationship to be outsourced, right?

For what it's worth, I am not attacking DW.  Her lack of drive is completely common.  That's why I was looking for suggestions on what I could do/expect to make things better.  I think we all would prefer to have a mutually satisfying marriage and duty sex is pretty much the antithesis of that.  Lots of good suggestions here, so thanks to those who have responded.[/quote]

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