Reply to S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?

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Reply to "S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP- you raise a good point.  Not OP but my dad is a dolt and so if I put myself in my stepmom's position, it would be hard to be generous towards a stepdaughter when the father treats his daughter poorly. [/quote]

(I'm the OP posing one of life's great questions about why women choose to procreate with men who have proven themselves to be bad fathers.)

Well, I dunno, don't give your stepmom too much credit. If she were a better person, she would actually have been *more* generous towards a child whose own father was treating her poorly. Of course, if she were a better person, she probably would have steered clear of an ass who treated his children poorly.[/quote]

In my case, DH was 22, got girlfriend of 6 months pregnant.  Tried to do the right thing by marrying her and it didn't work out.  Sometimes doing the "right thing" isn't the "best thing".  They divorced within a year.  She is difficult, from a different culture, doesn't let him have a say in much of the child's affairs.  She moved across country so he didn't get to see kid much.  He went to college, worked on his career and tried to be a good person and a good of a dad as he could by at least providing for the child and seeing her when allowed.  Now flash forward 12 years, we're in our 30s, make good salaries, he is a decent and responsible person but will always pay for his irresponsibility in the past.  He loves his child, provides for her and tries to be there, but some bio moms make it difficult.  And at the end of the day, they are very different.  Different upbringing, different values.  When stepchild is with us it is more like babysitting.  This doesn't make DH a deadbeat dad or a bad person.  He will always have to live with his poor choices and try to do right by the innocent child but also deserves to have a life and enjoy his success, wife, child that is in the home full time.[/quote]

What do you mean by "deserves to enjoy his succes"? Why is that mutually exclusive with treating all his children fairly? What do you mean by "babysitting"? I think you have serious problems.[/quote]

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